BEFORE THE RAINBOW BRIDGE
This post is contributed by One Drop member – Enrica Yuan.
“She would like to walk with you till the last step of her journey; for now, she still would like to go on her own. Can you do her a favour? She is concerned and worried about you. Can you try to let go of the guilt in your heart? She wants you to know she had a happy life with you and also know you spend as much time as you can with her. She has contented already. She knows, in your heart, work and she are equally important. She showed me an image of her pawing at your heart, trying to ease your heart pain and comfort you. She says mummy must be strong like jingle belle! Whenever you hear bells, think of her 🙂 After she crosses over, she will come back and help you with your work!”
Those were Belle’s last words to me, 3 days before she passed on. I engaged an Animal Communicator to speak to her if she wanted medical assistance to transit or she prefers to stay with us till her last breath.
I rescued XiaoBai (a cross JRT and Maltese) during Chinese New Year 2006 at a void deck. He was probably abandoned by his ex owner because he was sick. XiaoBao passed on within months after I rescued him. It was after XiaoBai that I decided to do more rescue work, and I found Bobby in March 2006. Bobby had a sad story. He was being rehomed 7 times and I was his 8th owner, I promise him we will walk this journey together, never to have him rehomed again. After having Bobby for a few months, I came to know about this sweet little girl who was up for adoption. Her name is Belle, and she responded cheerfully whenever we called her “Jingle Belle Belle”. I don’t know if Belle will fit into our family so we decided to try out as “WEEKEND PARENTS”. We brought her home from Friday to Sunday, where she will take part in everything we do. From grooming to dog runs, to pet cafes, and slowly, Bobby also came to accept her as part of our family. We love Belle very much , and after three months of being a weekend parent, my friend gave Belle up to us for adoption as he was not able to support owning a pet anymore.
Belle refuses to communicate with me directly but through an Animal Communicator. Even when she was talking to the Animal Communicator, she was speaking for me. I remembered in August 2018; I engaged Laura Bird to talk to Belle. I was so afraid that Belle would be gossiping about me being a bad owner, but she did not. Everything she said to the Animal Communicator was all the goodness about me. It was never about her. I remembered the session was so vulnerable, and the three of us (Belle, Laura Bird and me) hugged and cried so much. Belle probably also knew she has less than a year to be with us. She honoured what the universe has for her, and we spent the next few months having faith we each other.
We sent Belle to the vet because she was in a lot of pain. The vet told us that she has end stage kidney failure and her days are numbered. She was so much in pain that she couldn’t eat, the toxin accumulated in her small petite body has gone to her brain. If she is not sleeping, she will be walking in circles and she even attempted to knock her head on the wall. In short, she is in bad shape.
We know we cannot be selfish and keep her any more. Her kidneys and brain was failing. She wasn’t sleeping well, and we have to use FRANKINCENSE and LAVENDER to comfort her to sleep.
I was relieved for Belle when she finally crosses the bridge to the rest she rightfully deserved. For our case, it was not us who could not let go. It was Belle who cannot let go. She struggled to stay with me as much as she can, and she even cried in her last few moments before crossing the bridge. We told her, “It’s ok to go and look for your freedom…”
One thing I am very thankful for was that Belle chose to be with Lorbert and me when she left. Lorbert was away when Bobby left us, and that had always been a sort of regret for us. But we also come to term that Bobby probably also wanted time alone with me.
Death and dying are not scary. What matters most are the times spent together.
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